Is that my new bedroom rug I see in the fabulous offices of fashion retailer Moda Operandi featured in this month’s Architectural Digest? Why yes indeed it is. Perhaps I could be an interior decorator after all. Now if only I could have Lauren Santo Domingo’s wardrobe 😉
As a little girl, I always wanted to be a mermaid. You see, my love for the ocean started at an early age being an island girl and all. I don’t remember a time where I ever feared the ocean. From the moment we arrived at the beach, till the moment we left, I was in the water. I loved to swim out past the sandbar. I distinctly remember the change in temperature when I reached the part when I knew I couldn’t touch. I would dive and dive and dive some more. In search of what, I am not quite sure. With all the chaos in my childhood, the beach was that one place where I could truly escape.
When I saw this little piece by local artist Elle Foley, I knew it had to be mine. My favorite childhood memories. A mermaid. That was me.
Friends, you overwhelm me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words concerning yesterday’s post. I don’t think I could be where I am today without you so please remember that!
Eight years ago I thought my life was just beginning. I was standing in front of my childhood church wearing a white dress, my veil blowing in the summer breeze and ready to walk down the aisle to a man I had known for six years. And that day, everything changed.
I wish I could say it was the kind of love Hollywood movies are made of. A year later, I was standing in front of a judge ending it all. At the time, I thought I had lost everything. How could I ever love another again, trust again, feel again.
Over the last several years, I have learned a very valuable lesson… to love myself. In reflecting back on my courtship, engagement and marriage, I was taken aback by how many times I put my wants, needs and desires aside. I thought my life was complete taking care of another, worrying about another. There are certainly times in relationships where one gives more than they receive but the truly tragic piece of my love story was that I was always giving. Those who know me well, know that this is my personality type. But, what was my impetus for always giving more. Was it control? Was I trying to make it perfect so he would never leave?
This is my truth… my impetus for giving was based in fear. As a child of divorce, I thought I knew what caused the breakdown of a marriage. I had seen my parents fight about money, our home and the upkeep of it and about something as trivial as dinner. And so, I set out to right these things. I strove for perfection in our home, in my work and in myself. I tried to do everything in my power to make sure we wouldn’t fail. But we did. The reason my marriage failed was because I was acting to right the past.
At the time of my divorce, I had just turned 27. Those closest to me said I would be married again by 30. Here I am at 34, single. This past year has been a significant time of reflection for me. Figuring out what I want, who I am and who I want to become. Over the past month or so, I have come to the realization that once again I have let fear control my actions. When asked “do you want to marry again?” my typical response has been “I don’t know. I have been down that path before. Is it really worth it.” Or, “do you want children.” Again, my response is “I don’t know if that’s my story.” I have been afraid to say what I want as I fear that if I say it, and it doesn’t happen, I will once again be a failure.
So, today on this anniversary of mine, I am going to lay this fear of failure to bed. There is nothing more in this life I want than to fall in love with my best friend. I want a man who will make me laugh. Who when we are together, my cheeks hurt from all the smiling and laughing we do together. For as Rose Franken said, “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” I want someone to explore this amazing world with. Who challenges me. Who makes me see things in a new, interesting and different light. Who will be there when I fall and who will let me be there when he falls. And one day, I hope we will enjoy the joys of parenthood.
I am so very grateful for the failure of my first marriage. Funny to say that now but it’s the truth. He wasn’t the man for me. Do I still love him dearly? Of course and I always will. But I know there is something greater out there for me and I can’t wait to see it unfold!
I think summer is officially here. Seriously, these past two days have been near perfection. Sadly, I have been stuck in doors working. But I have been up at night dreaming about what to pack in my beach bag for that first day off. Only 12 more days (yes, I have a countdown… don’t judge).
First and foremost, I need a new beach bag. I am loving this one from Feed. And the best part, the proceeds will provide 50 meals to children in India. You can’t go wrong.
Next on the list, a beach cover-up. Everything LemLem does is just… well, perfection. The birabiro dress will soon be mine.
One must always take preventive measures when it comes to the sun so I will surely be bringing this baseball cap with me and applying my favorite sunscreen (smells like summer in a bottle) liberally. And of course, I couldn’t live without my Sugar Lip Balm with SPF 15.
I have a confession to make… I still buy books. Yes, actual books. No Kindle for this lady. My first beach read is the new Khaled Hosseini And the Mountains Echoed. Fingers crossed that its as good as The Kite Runner. What a story!
Coconut water (chocolate flavor, of course), a plum, dark chocolate, and some BBQ chips might just make their way into my bag as well.
And last but not least, my kadima set. Have loved this game since I was like 5 and will surely love it till I’m 85!
Happy April 1st! I couldn’t be more thrilled to say good-bye to March. What a long month, don’t you think? Things on the island are starting to pick up, which makes me so excited for the months ahead. I have been doubting my decision to move home these past few months (the weather certainly hasn’t helped) but this past weekend reaffirmed to me that home is where I need to be. And there is so much to look forward to. One of my absolute favorite weekends here is Daffodil Weekend (more on this to come, I promise) and this morning I saw some little daffodil heads peeking out of the ground. Alleluia!
Me for the title of worst blogger ever. Seriously, I was beyond excited in January to let you all know that I finally found the courage to share my voice with all of you. And just like that, I lost it. I started to doubt everything around me… the choice I made to leave Boston and move to this little island. And I didn’t know what to say.
But here I am ready to tell you all the truth, I’m scared. Scared of tomorrow and where my life is going. Scared of being alone. Scared of my finances. Scared. But after watching Ben’s speech last night as he accepted the award for Best Director for my favorite film of the year, I realized one very important thing… “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, all that matters is that you get up.” And so here I am promising to all of you (granted there are probably two of you reading this now) that I will get up. That I will share with you my thoughts, my fashion finds, my favorite recipes, my favorite travel spots. Me. I hope you enjoy the ride because I’m excited to start again.
I’ll see you here tomorrow!
PS – Should you want to hear about anything in particular, you just let me know.
I know, I know… It isn’t January 1st so this post is a few weeks late. Better late than never, right? What a year it was. Big changes, lots of travel and always great food with wonderful friends. Couldn’t ask for more!
January 2012 – Welcomed 2012 at one of my favorite watering holes, The Chicken Box, with my lovely sisters and a terrific friend! NOTE: The photo above was taken on New Year’s eve out in Madaket. Best sunset in the history of all sunsets. I mean it!
February 2012 – Ventured to Washington, D.C. for Super Bowl weekend and explored Old Town, Alexandria. Tasted one of the best coconut cakes I have ever had at Society Fair – a must for your next trip to our nation’s capital.
March 2012 – Ventured to San Diego, CA to visit a dear college friend and her sweet husband. Enjoyed an afternoon in La Jolla soaking up the views at George’s at the Cove followed by an amazing dinner at Searsucker in the Gaslight District. Drove into the desert to enjoy a few days poolside at the Viceroy Palm Springs. Love me a great boutique hotel!
April 2012 – Took a holiday in Spain… Barcelona to be precise. Savored several delicious tapas but my favorite find of all was a charming little café, Caelum on De la Palla. On my first day back to work, I gave my six weeks notice!
May 2012 – Celebrated my 33rd birthday and my farewell to Boston with a group of wonderful friends at Cafeteria on Newbury Street followed by margaritas at Lolita. Attended an Opus One wine tasting at my dear friend’s home for Nantucket Wine Festival. Can’t wait to visit this vineyard on an upcoming trip to Napa. Perhaps my 34th birthday!
June 2012 – Started the new month with my last day at work. Packed up my car on and moved back to my little island 30 miles out to sea. Started a new job as a catering manager and the craziness began. Was able to sneak in a few movies at the Nantucket Film Festival including Liberal Arts, My Sister’s Sister and the documentary Under African Skies as well as a talk with writer and director Nancy Meyers.
July 2012 – 14 to 18 hour work days… not even sure what happened in July. My tan was off the hook, though!
August 2012 – Swam across the pond to the Cape to celebrate the union of a lovely couple with my island girls. We have known each other for 25+ years. Wow!
September 2012 –Weddings, weddings, weddings.
October 2012 – Moved into my winter rental in Monomoy, where I go to sleep to the sound of the late boat coming in and wake up to the early boat leaving. Island living at its finest!
November 2012 – Best month of my life! Traveled to Sofia, Bucharest, Athens and Istanbul with one of the best friends a girl could ask for. More on this to come in future posts, I promise!
December 2012 – Purchased my very first Christmas tree and enjoyed some quality time in front of my TV recovering from a terrible cold. Thank God for Homeland on my DVR.
After many starts and stops to this little blog, I have decided to finally make it official. So welcome! I am really glad you stopped by. I guess we should start with introductions. My name is Maybeth but those closest to me call me May. If I had to sum myself up in just a few words it would be that I am a lover of many things…. and nothing gives me greater pleasure than planning the perfect weekend getaway or finding the ultimate hostess gift.
About six months ago, I made a rather big decision to leave city life and return home to my little island 30 miles out to sea. One may ask, why would I do such a thing? The simple answer is this… I felt like I was going through the motions. These past six months have certainly been a transition and I am not really sure if I’ve moved away from going through the motions of a sometimes mundane life but I can tell you this, 2013 is my year to live. And I hope this blog will allow me to share with you just how well I am doing.
What I hope to capture is quite simple. I want to share with you all what I love. I hope you enjoy!
A Day with May 